Earlier this year I was in a movie called Love, Simon. I was in two little baby scenes. It was maybe 8 seconds of screen time (if I’m being generous) but I said some words and you saw my face. My fully-3-dimensional-actualized-developed-wholly-human character’s name was ‘Math Teacher’ although I called him Chuck. When the movie…
“Aaaaaahhhhh!!! I fucking hate this fucking bitch!!” Sofia screamed at the tippy top of her lungs. Screaming had become the preferred mode of expression inside our North Hollywood apartment. Okay, technically it was a ‘Valley Village’ apartment but I tell people ‘North Hollywood.’ That’s only if they’ve never been to Los Angeles. If they have, then…
You guys know I’m basically Oprah, in so far as I believe it to be my responsibility to guide the human race toward enlightenment and joy. I’m always here for an encouraging word and advice. I’ll probably have my own TV network at some point. We know this. In the meantime, I would like to…
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